Above the Law Hits Below the Belt

Copernicus No Longer Finds Above the Law the Center of the Universe.
I used to get a kick out of reading the Above the Law . The Blawg is somewhat like the National Enquirer for the legal world. They write about which first year associates were seen at strip clubs or who got canned at what firm. If you want to know which hot nightclubs Justice Souter hangs out at or which starlet Justice Stevens is sleeping with, Above the Law is the place to go. Unfortunately, the blawg has lost a little luster. A few days ago it poked fun at a law student for asking for an extension on a paper when the student’s mother was taken hostage by gunpoint. During the hostage situation, ATL quipped “Who hasn’t “killed off a grandparent” in order to obtain an extension on a paper?” Today, they’re cracking ethnic jokes. Maybe the editors might consider switching to decaf.

In their Lawsuit of the Day post, blogger Kasmir Hill pokes fun at a lawsuit in which a woman claimed her daughter was actually impregnated in an Egyptian hotel swimming pool by stray sperm. I actually read this mother’s ridiculous claim on a few blogs. My problem with the story wasn’t that she was making fun of the lawsuit. It’s a typical story you would see covered on many blawgs. My concern was that Above the Law decided to use it as an opportunity to make an ethnic slur. Oddly enough, it was followed by a weak disclaimer indicating that the writer did not condone racial or ethnic slurs. I just rolled my eyes.

Ms. Hill basically stated that she no longer felt guilty for telling jokes about”dumb Polacks”. It surprised me a little. Maybe it rubbed me the wrong way because of my own roots. My parents and my wife are from Poland. As a Polish American, I don’t particularly enjoy being referred to as a “dumb Polack.” I speak three languages. I have a law degree. I tie my own shoes. I even made my own breakfast today. (Which reminds me…a special thanks to the New Britain Fire Department for their quick response. ) Is this the same blog that took a shot at some Tulane students for posing in sombreros? Wasn’t that a joke too? The same blog that accused the National Review and a Tom Tancredo staffer of using racist rhetoric? Didn’t ATL chastise NYU law for hiring a visiting professor from Singapore with controversial views on gay rights? The same blog that proudly supports Asian American Heritage Month. I agreed with ATL on many of their posts. Why can’t Polish people get the same respect from ATL. Don’t they deserve the same self righteous indignation the blog has shown for other groups? Can’t Polish people saddle up for a ride on ATL’s high horse? Why is it ok to make an ethnic slur about that particular group.

I did not find the statement on ATL shocking. It’s not like I’ve never heard a Polish joke before. It was just stupid. Polack jokes? Come on. Really? The story was funny on its own. Was the dumb Polak comment necessary? ATL is a well read site. AVVO blog lists it as one of the most read blogs around. I assume its readership is mostly lawyers, law students and individuals who have been subjected to massive head injuries.You really want to put yourself out to the legal community telling “dumb Polack” jokes. You have ivy league educations. Are you really that out of touch? (Editor’s note: the proper spelling of the word is actually Polak. In deference to Above the Law, we shall use their spelling variation.)As attorneys, we are supposed to be thick skinned. As such, I hesitated about admonishing another blog. I didn’t want to get on my high horse (At best, maybe a very tall pony). I didn’t want to be “that guy.” Honestly, I get it. It was just a joke on a blog. I laugh at lawyer jokes. I have a sense of humor. I absolutely believe in free speech. Write whatever you want. The Constitution guarantees your right to be a jackass. Just don’t yell fire in the movies. I just find ethnic and racial jokes a little low brow. And I’m a guy that loves the Three Stooges. Yes, I believe in free speech. But, I also believe in civility and respect.

 

J‘Accuse!
There is something inherently creepy about people who make racial and ethnic slurs. You know that uncle or party guest who insists on regaling the room with off color jokes. Sometimes people pipe up in disgust. Others fake a half hearted chuckle or stare at the floor. It makes everyone uncomfortable except the oblivious joke teller who assumes his audience shares his “sense of humor”. Now, I don’t mean to get all Sarah Palin or Émile Zola on Hill. I do, however, accuse Above the Law of not being funny and of being a little creepy.

(Editors note: Sarah Palin attacked David Letterman for making jokes about her underage daughter. Emile Zola wrote an open letter accusing the French army of wrongly convicting actor Richard Dreyfus of treason…or something like that. You know, the guy from What about Bob? and Jaws. )

“Dumb Polack” jokes, as Hill refers to them, are as outdated as the pet rock and the Commodore 64 computer. The people who write Above the Law boast Harvard and Yale Law on their resumes. You would think the Ivys would have taught them a little more class. Where is that Onion-National Lampoon like wit? Didn’t they teach these guys about “dumb Polacks” like Madame Curie, Chopin, Copernicus, John Paul II, Milosz, Joseph Conrad? “Dumb Polacks” like Koscuiszko and Pulaski helped our young nation defeat the British. They cracked the Nazi Enigma Code and discovered Vitamins. They helped bring down the Soviet Union with the Solidarity Movement. They helped defeat the British, the Nazis, the Soviets and the Curse of the Bambino*. I think the Polish people deserve a break from the Polack jokes.

(*Editors note: Polish American Doug Mientkiewicz caught the last out of the Red Sox first World Series Win since 1918.)

I guess what really irked me was the disclaimer posted by Above the Law. “Kash does not condone racial or ethnic slurs”
The disclaimer comes after her statement about “dumb polacks”. The editors obviously must have gotten the feeling that maybe they went a little too far. (It’s akin to “it’s OK, my best friend is Black or I can tell Mexican jokes because my sister dated an Ecuadoran in 9th grade.) I might use this defense for my clients. If they commit larceny, I will simply state “it’s OK your honor, the defendant does not condone stealing.”

Chances are the young 13 year girl was simply afraid to tell her mother about being sexually active. She actually convinced her mom that she got pregnant from swimming in a crowded pool. I talked my way out of lots of things. This one takes the cake. She might want to consider a career in law. Of course, there is also the chance the young 13 year girl was the victmi of a sexual assault and was afraid to tell her mother, how she got pregnant. Not usually what one would consider joke fodder.

As a Polish American, I always found it odd that these sorely outdated “Polack” jokes always seem to get a free pass with people. Can you imagine if Above the Law posted a joke knocking Judge Sotamayor for her Puerto Rican roots or blamed Bernie Madoff’s woes for his “Jewish tendencies” Might as well accuse Justice Kennedy of being a fall down drunk because of his Irish roots and accuse the Italian Scalia for being a member of the mob. Maybe call Bill Richardson a lazy Mexican for not winning the presidency. Freedom of speech is celebrated in our nation. Above the Law has the right to write whatever they want. But show at a little class. And don’t forget about that digital footprint. See what happens when your next employer happens to be Polish and he googles you. That “dumb Polack” might think twice before hiring you.

Archie Bunker funny? Hardly. We are waiting for our apology … meatheads.  Until then, Above the Law has been added to the PBA’s Hall of Shame.

Poland Offers Wonderful Opportunity for Law Students

On December 13th, 1981, daily life in Poland would change as the government imposed marital law on its citizens. In an attempt to crush political opposition to the communist regime, thousands of people were arrested without charge and hundreds were killed.

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As part of the crackdown, educational institutions underwent a “verification” process that tested each employee’s attitude towards the communist government and the growing Solidarity movement. As a result, thousands of teachers were banned from their craft. Curfews were imposed, phone calls were monitored, the borders were sealed and military courts tried civilians for allegedly spreading “false information.” It was during this volatile time that Professor Rett Ludwikowski served as the chairman of the Division of Law and Business at Krakow’s 14th century Jagiellonian University, one of the oldest and most prestigious universities in Europe.(alumni include John Paul II and Copernicus). He taught law and politics and held the chair of Modern Legal and Political Movements and Ideas.

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The eighties proved to be a dangerous time for political thought in Poland. Like many intellectuals, Prof.Ludwikowski’s beliefs were not in step with those of the Communist Government. He would be warned by a kind hearted government agent that it would be in his best interest to leave the country. In 1982, Ludwikowski took his family and left for the United States for a new start. Today, Professor Ludwikowski molds young legal minds at the Columbus School of Law in Washington D.C. During his tenure he developed a unique program that would give American and Polish law students the opportunity to study each summer at the prestigious Jagellonian University. He had made his triumphant return to Poland.

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Since 1991, Ludwikowski has been offering a summer International Business & Trade program where students receive intensive training in the global aspects of modern trade, American and European Union Law, business transactions, and other substantive areas of law. Top students from across Poland and the United States are hand picked by Professor Ludwikowski to take part in the program. Both Polish and American students attend ABA approved courses, live together and participate in co-curricular activities including long hikes in the mountains of Zakopane, trips to the Wieliczka Salt Mines and Auschwitz, as well as river tours of the Dunajec River. During the day, students have the run of a city rich in history full of museums, castles and palaces. (Classes are actually held in a former palace). At night, students are free to explore Krakow’s many attractions which include great restaurants and underground nightclubs that feature everything from live jazz to the latest in European dance music.

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Classes are taught by both American and Polish law professors. Students have received visits from a range of notables including Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. The cross-cultural aspect of the Krakow program is unique and has resulted in many lasting friendships and business contacts. Graduates of the program practice throughout the United States .

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As a law student, I had the opportunity to take part in this wonderful program. At the time, Poland was voting whether or not to join the European Union. For me, it proved to be the experience of a lifetime (I even met my wife in the program). Living accomodations are in walking distance of one of the largest town squares in Europe. On weekends students were even given the opportunity to visit surrounding countries. I decided to visit Budapest. Some participants took the opportunity to intern at American law firms with branch offices in the city. (One memorable night, we ran into 10 Elvis impersonators from Liverpool, England). The Krakow program is a great opportunity for any law student looking for some summer credits. You do not need to be a student at the Columbus School of Law. I recommend it wholeheartedly.  Exceptional support staff and professors will help you throughout the process. The experience made me want to transfer to the school.

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Law students interested in taking part of the Krakow program should contact Margaret Pooley at the Columbus School of Law in Washington D.C.